What a week this has been. I can feel my heartrate slowing down...that is a good thing. The bad part is that I didn't get enough work done this week and I will need to step it up this next week. The good news is that I slowed the pace and kept my heart from the frenzy racing of the past. How am I going to continue that and get my work done?
As an observation: I need to log in my daily calendar my progress because trying to remember at the end of a week is too hard. I did read and journal Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day I turned off everything and made sure that I had quiet time. Yesterday I was able to go deep into thought and had some good insight going. I forgot how much I miss that part of my life. It is not a regular part of my daily routine to think about myself...I am always concerned with how others feel, if they are getting what they need, if I can make their life a bit easier, put others desires before my own...if you would create a poster for Codependency my picture would be right in the center. I would probably even smile so that I wouldn't ruin it for you! I can return to the time when I was better at making decisions based on fact and situations, not on feelings - particularly 'others' feelings. Several years ago I read a great book about codependency - which I must have forgotten most of what I learned.
This week my goal is to create a schedule for myself and see how that works. I will need to spend the next few weeks working out the kinks. But this will be my way of setting boundaries and making sure I get the most important things done each day.
Brian's encouragement and support through all the changes I have been trying to make is the highlight of my life. It is wonderful to have Brian to lean on. He helps me stablize when I am wobbly and a firm foundation when I am feeling stronger.
Responding to what is going on around me at all times doesn't give me time to respond to what is going on inside of me. This week I will focus on what is going on inside of me. This will help give me wisdom in knowing what things I can help change and what things I need to simply ignore and move on. This also releaves me from feeling like I need to be in control and I can let God be in control - as He should be - in my life and the world.
1 comment:
Very insightful! One of the things I had to learn is that taking time for myself, for anything - spiritual enrichment, mental health, physical health, whatever, is okay!!
So often we learn that our sense of responsibility is to others and we therefore adopt the thought that taking care of ourselves is somehow a selfish and greedy act.
But I have worked hard on trying to relearn that that is not the case. In fact quite the opposite. If we take time to take care of ourselves then we are in a better position to care for others that do depend on us.
Post a Comment