Random Thoughts

Right now I am reading The Shack. A few things came to mind:

When I am in the presence of another person everything that happens is thru my eyes only. Sometimes we say or do certain things because of the way we 'expect' the other person to act or react. Other times we say or do certain things because of 'experience' we have with that person. Anyone else could and probably will have a different experience with that individual.

This leads me right into the thought that when I make comments later about a particular experience with an individual I am retelling the experience thru my eyes and putting it out there and available to the world. At any time they may hear or read about what I said. Even if I ask the other person to keep the conversation private between the two of us, that is no guarantee. Not to mention that it is 'out there', the words have been spoken, no turning back.

At any given time I am not just sharing with one person but with many others. At the very least, God hears and knows what I am saying and whether or not it is factual. Now, this is when you need to keep in mind that the whole experience was thru my eyes and the other person may have a completely different account of the actions and words. And if anyone was watching and listening in, they will provide another point of view. Also, while we are traveling down this road, the person hearing the story will be listening with ears and a mind that has a different life experience from mine. Makes me dizzy just thinking of all the possibilities.

One other thought along this whole train of thinking. God loves each of us no matter what. We pick and chose people thru our limited sight of the world and our limited ability to love. Now, we need to protect ourselves from harm. But when I get so mad at people that I no longer want to be in their presence, can I see them thru God's eyes and find something valuable? How about something small that simply ticks me off, can I laugh it off because we are all loved by God?

One line in the book that keeps coming back to me is: "...when all you can see is your pain, perhaps then you lose sight of me?" This is God talking to Mack. Oh, how many times in my life I have come across that very aspect of humanness. I get so wrapped up in my own emotions, I can feel them swirling around me, slowly at first, working up a little, my stomach starts to tighten, the churning picks up a bit, my knees lock into place, my toes have curled under and grip the ground, my heart starts to twist, churning up a bit more, we are working on some real speed by the time the pain strikes thru my head and mind...I am full-blown whirlwind raging thru water, the undertow is pulling and tugging at me as I start to go under...taking one last big inhale and down I go...I am no longer thinking about God or anything other than the strangling tight-hold my emotions have on my whole body. Why, Oh, Why didn't God grab ahold of me before I went under, where was He in all this, why did He let me go? God didn't let go, I tried to, He is still there and holding me and all I need to do is exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, slow... slower... slowly... methodically... bringing myself back to the surface where I can think clearer and put myself back in His arms.